Yet it can happen any ordinary day. We normally associate death with something that will come up once we are done with the business of living, had our fair share of health, disease, joys, sorrows and the favorite word on millions of facebook messages, the “journey”. Truth is, without life, there is no death. Without death, life would be an unending task, full of comings and goings and people and places… random stuff. According to ancient sciences, every breath we take in brings life and every time we exhale, it is a tiny form of death. One cannot exist without the other. It is the micro process in the macro of life.
Death is inevitable, question is not if, but when.. Answer is, anytime! So, instead of making every moment count, we run around in circles. The humor is not lost when we say life is a circle…old thought patterns emerge and re-emerge to keep us running through a maze sorting emotional baggage while the future looms ahead with no real plan or purpose to it.
In the words of the wise old man, “Man is Mad! All his life he searches for something he already has.” The old man speaks of finding that elusive “self”. The one person everyone knows, but we never know for ourselves.
We know what other people look like, how they think, and sometimes we think we know them better than they know themselves. Yet, if we were to ever be alone with our own Self, it would be devastating! It would be a challenge to be alone. Who is this person you would ask yourself? What is this person really thinking behind all these million thought patterns?
For lack of a real purpose, we learn to live as a direct response to how others make us feel. We know them, our spouses, family members, co-workers, they are the mirror to our wellbeing or disease. They make us feel brave, fearful, resourceful, victims, it’s our reaction to their response to our outer life. And it is a rich outer life. Full of drama, tensions, stress, expectations and a search for something…you ask yourself, does this being even have a purpose for living, a purpose for anything, except relating to others?
We know about hanging out with people, yet, hanging inwards is a challenge. There is uncertainty, there is a sinking feeling of not knowing how to relate. Loneliness is a negative feeling that spirals downward. Aloneness, however, is the opposite. It is positive, it is exhilarating, it brings joy and self love that no external beings or tools can bring. In Osho’s words, loneliness is the absence of the other, aloneness is the presence of the Self. And slowly, doing this we realize that if we can stand our own company, living with others is so much easier!
As one of my clients recently said so well, “clarity of thought is sometimes tainted with incomplete perceptions”. Our feelings and emotions are clear, but they do not have the full 360 view, which is a defect in our thinking. Private consultations with him led to his awareness of not just his purpose, but a few hidden under utilized talents; new resources he thought were unavailable to him and best of all a whole new look at his personal relationships. Gone were his ideas of compartmentalizing and sorting differences like files in a cabinet. The new him integrated fully his views and perceptions and vision of what was needed to be done, aligning his purpose with his highest and lowest values till all was crystal clear.
August 25th, 2013